


Holidays

by Kitty_KatAllie



Series: What's It Like [17]
Category: Eyeshield 21
Genre: Family Drama, Light Angst, M/M, Other, no resolution ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 17:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9502061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitty_KatAllie/pseuds/Kitty_KatAllie
Summary: They stood in the middle of the dim, unlit room. Outside, somewhere, people were lighting firecrackers, but the cracks and booms were distant and unnoticed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> How are the holidays spent? Would they ever get married?  Thoughts on kids? What do they do when the other is stressed? What are their (planned) careers? 
> 
> (most of these are mentioned, some in passing, but all in the chapter)

Two years.

Two years and a few days since Sena’s first confession in the snow. Since their first kiss (and second… and maybe third? It sorta blurred at the end there). His birthday and Christmas had already passed and New Year’s Day was in less than 24 hours. Before high school, New Year’s Eve had been him and his family, sometimes Mamori and her mother (and one year with Riku), having home-cooked hotpot and lighting up sparklers in the backyard. On the years Mamori came, his father and Mamori’s mother would have gotten drunk on _sake_ , his mother on _umeshu_ , and Sena and Mamori would eat frozen _mochi_ at midnight and fall asleep under the _kotatsu_ —when Mamori didn’t come, it was mostly the same minus her and her mother. The most momentous New Year’s had been the year Riku had been his friend, and Riku had convinced both Sena and Mamori they should eat the alcohol-soaked plums leftover from Mihae’s _umeshu_. They had only been nine or ten, so they’d gotten silly and giggly before they’d even finished them off, and passed out in a heap before midnight. Luckily, they hadn’t eaten enough to get sick and Sena had counted it one of his favorite new year’s memories until after his sixteenth birthday. (It was still one of his favorites, though.)

After the Christmas Bowl and making so many amazing and er… _eclectic_ friends (and getting to go to USA even!), New Year’s had only gotten more fun. Full of crazy parties and best friends and good fun, and still that home-cooked hotpot with his parents in the early evening- usually with half a dozen “guests” that had shown up just in time for the Kobayakawas to sit down to it. This year, something _else_ new was starting, and he wondered if this would become a new tradition and how it would fit in with everything.

His knee bounced, fingers jittery and tapping on his thighs, as buildings and streets slipped past the limo window. A familiar, soft, pudgy hand fell over his and he looked over to his mother. Her kind brown eyes- the same shade and shape as his own- met his anxious gaze and a great deal of said anxiety melted away.

Mihae patted his hand and told him firmly, “It’s going to be just fine. The Shins have been nothing but kind to you, and to us through you. We’ll get along fine.”

Sena shook his head, huffing under his breath. Honestly, that wasn’t even the real worry. The Shins were so polite and sophisticated, that even if they didn’t like the Kobayakawas, they wouldn’t act other than polite and sophisticated. It wasn’t drama or hostility he was antsy about.

“I… I just… I usually have time for my friends for New Year’s,” Sena mumbled, dropping his head. “It’ll be the first New Year’s without them since high school, except for the time I was in America.”

“I think the invitation to visit your boyfriend’s family deserves a little more appreciation than a party with your friends,” Mihae admonished, looking disappointed in him. Sena cringed. It did sound really selfish once he’d said it aloud.

“Y-Yes, s-sorry, Mama,” he muttered towards his lap.

Shuuma cleared his throat pointedly. “I think we forget, Mihae, just how important those friends are to him. We’ve gotten so used to them being underfoot and noisy deviants. A man should always appreciate the friendships he’s gained in his life, especially like those Sena has found.”

Sena glanced up, smiling wide and startled at his dad. As much as he loved his mother, his father had always understood him a little bit more. Moments like this only re-emphasized that fact and had the guilt weighing him down loosening. Mihae made a thoughtful noise and pressed a dimple into her round chin with her finger.

“I suppose you’re right. He’s so changed from that lonely little boy he was in middle school, I’ve plumb-forgotten that it’s still pretty new. I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Mihae confessed, wrapping her warm arms around him and giving him a squeeze. “We’ll make sure to have hotpot for all your friends tomorrow instead! How about that? You think that’d be okay?”

Sena blushed to his ears, but smiled small and pleased. “Yeah, I think they would like it. I’ll text everyone about it right now.”

“You better be quick,” interjected Shuuma, a quiet sort of affection in his voice at his little family. “We’re stopping at a gate now.”

Sena perked up and, sure enough, saw the tall looming gates of the Shin residence ahead. Hoshino knocked on the window that separated them and Sena nodded.

“Yup, this is it! Mama, switch seats with me. You should get a good look,” Sena advised with a sneaky little smirk at his parents’ baffled looks in his direction. He was already sending out mass texts to friends as he helped his mother clamber over him and into his vacated seat.

Their loud, disbelieving gasps had him snickering behind his phone- which was already lighting up with texts all agreeing to show up the next day for hotpot and _sake_ with the Kobayakawas. A few of them even said their parents would be coming, too. A warm fuzzy feeling buzzed in his gut at the affirmation of how close he and his friends were- how like _family_ they all were even five years since that first Christmas Bowl and two years since everyone had scattered to mostly different colleges.

“Are you sure we’re at the right place, son?” Shuuma wheezed, wiping his glasses with his shirttails.

“Honey, they have a limo and their own driver! You shouldn’t be this surprised!” Mihae replied, though her own voice was shaky and she still hadn’t torn her wide eyes away from the mansion looming over them.

Sena grinned when the front doors of the mansion opened and Shin’s silhouette darkened the entryway. “Too bad it’s winter. The peacocks are inside the special kennels until it warms up.”

“Peacocks?!” His parents exclaimed together. They quickly pulled themselves together when Hoshino appeared outside their door to open it.

The Kobayakawas tumbled out in various clumsy manners, and Shin was already standing on the bottom step and bowing to them. To Sena, he merely looked, mouth and eyes soft around the edges. The Enma player grinned wide and unreservedly, stepping past his parents to grip Shin’s hand. He had to restrain himself from hugging Shin tight around the waist and tilting his face up for a kiss- something he just _did_ these days. Shin’s hand clasped his tightly in return.

“My parents are waiting inside to meet you,” Shin told the Kobayakawas.

Mihae clapped her hands together with a giddy smile, “Well, let’s go then. I just can’t wait to meet them.”

“Y-Yeah,” Shuuma gulped.

They all hurried up the carefully cleared and de-iced steps into the foyer. Sighs of relief at the warmth left them simultaneously, and they started to unwind their scarves and jackets at the insistence of the cheery housekeeper. Then, the older Kobayakawas froze, half-bent over to reach for their shoes, when Sena quickly stopped them.

“They leave their shoes on here,” Sena whispered under his breath, cupping the side of his mouth with one hand and blushing for his parents’ sake. Who both blinked and gaped at Sena.

“My father spent a great deal of his youth in the West,” Shin explained easily with a shrug. He glanced away and upwards, his features blank and stoic. “There they are.”

Sena jerked up and grinned happily. Juuri and Seisuke were hurrying down the stairs, Seisuke quite literally _bounding_ down them. Sena and his parents met them at the bottom, bowing, but Seisuke swept aside ceremony to lift Sena up into a hug that took the small man’s breath away, his spine cracking loudly.

“It’s Sena! Long time no see!” Seisuke exclaimed eagerly.

“L-Long t-time n-no s-see,” Sena wheezed. Juuri placing her hand to Seisuke’s shoulder had the boisterous man putting Sena back on his feet.

“And you must be Mihae and Shuuma Kobayakawa. Welcome to our home,” Juuri greeted kindly, bowing politely. The Kobayakawas quickly bowed back again, already flustered.

“None of that stuffy Shin and Kobayakawa nonsense. You’ll call us Juuri and Seisuke,” Seisuke proclaimed, shaking each of their hands in turn in both of his bear-like paws.

“If y-you’re sure,” Mihae gasped, hand still hanging awkwardly in the air after he’d released her.

“Yes, I agree. Let’s head into the dining room for dinner, shall we? We thought you’d enjoy a hot meal after your long ride,” Juuri told them as she gestured when her hand.

“That’s sounds great,” Mihae agreed cheerfully. Shuuma sunk into a timid silence, letting his chattier, more outgoing wife take control of the situation while his dark eyes darted around their surroundings.

Shin and Sena took up the rear, watching as the Shin parents wooed the Kobayakawa parents with grace and genuine exuberance on Seisuke’s part. While Sena looked excited and eager for their parents to get along, grinning enthusiastically when Juuri drew his more reticent father into conversation with polite questions about his legal work, Shin didn’t look quite as _overjoyed_. He was stiff and robotic in his movements, his expression still the carefully stoic mask he’d pulled on the moment he led them all inside. Sena glanced between their parents and Shin, and couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong.

Everything seemed to be going just fine. _So why was Shin acting like they were ten goals behind with thirty seconds left on the clock?_

Dinner was- thankfully- familiar Japanese foods. His father wasn’t really a fan of Western food and his mother got embarrassed when she didn’t recognize what she was eating. The dining room wasn’t one of the _grand_ ones he’d eaten in when his American friends had stayed, instead a very intimate and comfortable one. The table was just large enough to fit them with a lazy Susan set up in the middle, so they could rotate the dishes and pick off what they wanted with their chopsticks. Shin was sitting next to Sena, of course, with Mihae on Shin’s other side, and Seisuke on Sena’s other side. Juuri and Shuuma sat next to each other, and Sena couldn’t help but be grateful. Shuuma would wilt under a man like Seisuke’s attention, but Juuri had his father actually talking- quietly, sure, but with actual words and sentences Sena could hear if he focused on them. Seisuke spent most of the dinner putting more and more food on Sena’s plate, urged on by Sena’s laughing mother who agreed with Seisuke that Sena still had a lot of growing to do. Shin kept his ear bent towards the much shorter and chattier Mihae, nodding along with almost everything she said and answering her occasional, curious questions.

By the time Hoshino brought out tea and fruit for dessert, Shin’s tense shoulders had relaxed and he’d even made a joke to Mihae about being surprised she hadn’t brought Pitt-chan along.

Mihae tittered and sipped at her tea at Shin’s awkward, but heartfelt joke.

“Oh, I thought about it. But what if your parents were allergic?”

“Allergic? What is this Pittchan?” Seisuke asked, carefully peeling an orange slice free of pulp before popping it into his mouth. Like his wife and son, he ate _daintily_ and cleanly. The only thing that Sena had ever seen Seisuke do neatly was eat. Otherwise, he reminded Sena a lot of Otawara-kun.

Which meant: cheerful bull in a china shop.

“Pitt is our family pet. A cat,” Sena explained to the big man next to him. “We’ve had her almost my whole life. She loves Seijuuro… _kun_.” Sena blushed at his slip. Using Seijuuro’s name without an honorific in front of their _parents_ was _embarrassing_. Shin never used honorifics, but Sena was just too Japanese-bred to not be horrified at the slip.

“Seijuuro always did love cats. I just didn’t want our cleaning service to have to deal with fur or litter boxes,” Juuri agreed with a fond smile towards Shin. Shin sipped his tea with his eyes lowered.

Seisuke laughed and reached over to put his hand over his wife’s. “Not to mention, she was worried a misbehaving cat might tear up my family’s old heirlooms. She takes better care of this old place than I do.”

Juuri lowered her eyes, just like her son, her mouth twitching up to the side when Seisuke kissed her cheek. Mihae blushed and smiled, both embarrassed and delighted by Seisuke’s overt affection for his wife. She nudged at Shuuma’s leg, but he merely looked at her over his tea, eyebrow lifting. She giggled again at her husband’s look.

“It’s a lovely home. I’m sure cats would get lost in it anyway. I’d be surprised if a little Seijuuro-kun didn’t get lost it in,” Mihae teased the big man next to her.

“I did. Often. Mother always found me,” Shin answered simply, but it had Sena and Mihae laughing.

“Too bad I didn’t know you then. This would’ve been a great place to play hide-n-seek,” Sena joked.

“You’re small enough, you could probably still hide in some places I found,” Shin replied, his mouth twitching. Sena gaped up at him, while his parents and Seisuke laughed at his expense.

When her laughter ebbed into chuckles, Mihae added with a teasing wink at her son, “I’m sure you’ll have kids of your own one day and you could play with them instead.”

“Mama!” Sena hissed, covering his flaming red face with his hand.

“What!? You’re about to start your third year, and Seijuuro-kun his fourth! You have to think about the future, sweetie!” Mihae replied.

Neither son nor mother noticed the sudden rigidity in another mother and son, or the strange grimace Seisuke hid behind a mouthful of pear. Shuuma’s dark, assessing gaze glanced from Juuri to Shin, mouth tightening.

“Not _now_. Mama, please!” Sena pleaded, eyes darting up to Shin. Only to blink in surprise.

The last time Sena had seen that look, he and Shin had been _fighting_.

“I’ll never forgive you if you don’t give me grandbabies eventually. Right, Juuri-san?” Mihae said, looking towards the other mother in the room, oblivious to Juuri’s tense shoulders. To her, Juuri looked exactly the same- perfect posture and cool façade. “You’re looking forward to spoil grandchildren one day, too?”

“That’s far in the future yet,” Juuri said stiffly.

Shuuma quietly chimed in, “They have their entire careers ahead of them, Mihae. Don’t fluster them, now.” Mihae psshed and flapped her hand at them.

“Spoilsports.”

“Our boys both have the NFL draft ahead them. Seijuuro’s already talking about scouts and next year’s tournaments. Sena, too, I bet?” Seisuke pointed out, with a strange tone of relief in his voice.

Sena looked around the table, brown eyes taking in the cooling intimacy settling over the table. Even his father was keeping his gaze on his plate rather than re-engaging Juuri in conversation, something wary and… shrewd in his black eyes.

“Yes, I want to go back to America for amefuto, too. But after… after the NFL,” Sena said slowly. Shin’s hand gripped his knee, fleeting and tight, and had Sena looking over to him, words trailing off. Shin gave him an almost imperceptible shake of his head. Sena frowned harder, but ceased talking. Something sick and heavy began to coil in the pit of his stomach at Shin’s silent warning.

“After the NFL, you’ll come back to Japan and get settled down and start a family,” Mihae said stoutly and firmly. _Too bad Seijuuro can’t warn her the same way_ , Sena thought desperately, throat constricting. “You can’t play amefuto forever.”

Juuri cleared her throat. “Mihae-san, that’s very far in the future,” she reiterated calmly. “Who knows where they’ll be after all that time. They’re young men yet, barely more than boys.”

Mihae tilted her head to the side, puzzled and disappointed that Juuri wouldn’t join the teasing. “Yes, but they’re good boys and they’ve been together this long already. Sometimes you meet the right one and that’s all you need. Isn’t that right, honey?” She grinned over at Shuuma.

“We were married in our thirties, Mihae. These boys are barely twenty,” Shuuma replied diplomatically. Mihae pouted.

“I really don’t know why you’re all being so _pessimistic_. This is a new year, we’re supposed to be looking towards the future! For me, Sena and Seijuuro-kun being together and happy is all I could wish. You make my son very happy, Seijuuro-kun, and I couldn’t think of a better son-in-law,” Mihae told him gently, her hand lying on his arm.

Shin stared at her, eyes widening minusculely. His face softened into his special kind of smile, the one that had Sena’s heart beating fast and _happy_. Especially when Shin laid his giant hand over Mihae’s.

“Thank you, Kobayakawa-san. Nothing would make me happier,” he said earnestly. Mihae lit up like a little girl on her birthday.

“You’ll have to get used to calling me Mama, like Sena does!” Mihae laughed. “Such a handsome young man. My son is so very lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one.”

“Oh jeez!” Sena gasped, sinking in his chair and blushing to his hairline. He had forgotten, for a blissful moment, the strange feeling he’d been having, and Shin’s warning. He was just too giddy and embarrassed by his mother and Shin to remember.

For just a moment.

A tea cup setting down on the table too hard had the whole table flinching and turning to Juuri. She breathed through her nose, eyes closed. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked directly at her son.

“As I’ve said, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. They’re young yet and have duties and choices ahead of them. They’re happy and young and in love _now_ , but mostly they’re _young_.” Her words were curt and short, her eyes never leaving her son’s.

Shin dropped his hand away from Mihae and, at last, the Kobayakawa woman caught onto the less than warm atmosphere at the table. Seisuke reached over to put his hand on his wife, but she waved him away.

“We planned to light some sparklers and some other combustibles Seisuke indulges in each year. I’ll have Hoshino get everything ready,” Juuri said, her tone polite, but still a little icy.

“I’m afraid we’ll be taking our leave,” Shuuma replied just as politely and coolly, setting down his cup. Everyone stared at him, even his family. But his gaze was stern when he met Juuri’s eyes. “I dislike pretense and I refuse to stay, or allow my family to stay, where we’re not wanted.”

“Shuuma!” Mihae gasped, hands covering her mouth.

“Dad!” Sena hissed in alarm.

Seisuke sighed and covered his face the same time Shin did.

“Excuse me? I did not think we gave the impression you were unwelcome,” Juuri replied, looking offended.

Shuuma smiled slightly. “Oh, no, you did not. You were very hospitable. However, the very idea that my son may one day be your son-in-law seems to cause you a great deal of _agony_. If you cannot bear the thought of him being a part of your family, how much true respect do you have for him? Or for myself and my wife?”

Juuri got to her feet, hands on the table top. “I do not like your _implications_.”

“I thought not. We’ll call a cab,” Shuuma said calmly, getting to his feet. Mihae got up so quickly her chair squeaked over the floor.

“Don’t be preposterous. Hoshino can take you home,” Juuri replied shortly.

“Juuri dear, please-” Seisuke murmured, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

“ _Don’t you call my husband preposterous_ ,” Mihae exclaimed, teary-eyed. “You invited us here on a _lie_. This whole time, you thought my son, my _family_ , wasn’t good enough for you? How… how could you be so polite and so _cruel_?” Shuuma reached out to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

Sena hurried to his feet, hands up in the air in supplication. “Mama, Dad, there’s been a misunderstanding. Please, calm down.”

“Not entirely,” Shin interjected calmly from where he still sat. Sena looked over at him, eyes wide with shock and _hurt_.

“Son, you are not helping. That’s not what Juuri means at all,” Seisuke replied with a hand running through his hair.

“Then, _explain_ it to them. What’s wrong with him, Mother? If it’s not their middle class lack of breeding,” Shin seethed, hands in white-knuckled fists on his lap.

“Him.” Sena whispered, eyes wide in his suddenly pale as he stared at Juuri in dismay. “It’s just… me?” Juuri glanced away, face as carefully blank as her son’s.

“It’s not appropriate for the heir of-”

The breath knocked out Sena like a Trident Tackle to the solar plexus. How ridiculous that it was the _mother_ that instigated the feeling now.

“It’s because he’s a _boy_?!” Mihae blurted, tears streaming down her face even as fury flashed in her usually kind brown eyes. “How dare you- It’s the twenty-first century! In America, they can get married!”

“My wife takes our duty to the Shin name very seriously-” Seisuke attempted to soothe, hands waving in the air.

“I can speak for myself, Seisuke,” Juuri snapped. She drew in a quick breath and pressed her hand to her forehead. “I’m sorry, Seisuke. I shouldn’t have gotten angry.”

“You should be apologizing to _Sena_ ,” Shin shouted, finally rising and glaring in her direction.

For a short moment, Juuri and Seisuke both stared at their son, aghast and rattled at his outburst. Seisuke pulled himself together faster and frowned at Shin

“Don’t you speak to your mother like that.”

Shin scowled fierce and dark and Sena knew Shin wasn’t going to back down now. He knew that face too well. The sick feeling surged up into his throat and he felt like vomiting at Shin’s next words,

“This dinner was a ridiculous idea when you’ve _never_ approved of my relationship with Sena.”

Sena barely recognized his own voice making the pathetic, pained noise that cracked through the air. His shaking hand covered his mouth and every generous and kind overture by the Shins towards Sena became tainted.

“Never?” he repeated, pained and shaky. 

Shin looked away, knuckles braced on the table and shoulders tight around his ears. Sena turned to the older Shins, and neither could meet his eyes. Seisuke looked downright upset, but Juuri’s stoic mask was guarding any feeling she might have. Like _disapproval_.

“But… why? I thought…” Sena breathed out, numb and lost.

“Sena, we do like you. You’ve been great for Seijuuro,” Seisuke said with a tightness around his eyes. “I never thought my son would ever look at someone the way he looks at you.”

Sena’s mouth trembled when Juuri still looked away, her lips tightening into a thin, unhappy line.

“That doesn’t matter to Mother, who expects a _biological_ child of mine,” Shin explained in a voice sharp enough to cut.

Juuri’s eyes flashed to her son’s. “You have a duty to your name, Seijuuro. The Shin family is generations old and you’re the last of the line. You can’t just forsake your duty to your ancestors and your _history_ because of a college fling.”

“You met father in college!”

“I knew my duty to this family when I married him!”

“It was _your choice!_ Not mine!”

“Don’t do this in front of company!” Seisuke tried to interrupt.

“We should go, now,” Shuuma added to Mihae, his eyes darting to Sena’s grey face as he watched Juuri and Shin steadily shout louder and louder at each other.

Because of _him_.

“You already haven’t chosen a _real_ profession, and we conceded to your wishes for your happiness! The least you can do to repay your family is to marry well and appropriately,” Juuri continued, too involved in her argument to notice anything around her but Shin.

“You only conceded because you think I’m a disappointment to you!” Shin bellowed, his fist slamming on the table. Everyone jumped as dishes clattered. Sena darted forward and gripped Shin’s arm.

“Seijuuro, calm down, you’re going to say something you regret,” Sena murmured, ignoring the tears filming his eyes. Shin glanced at him and something snapped in his gaze, something fierce and terrifying and had Sena’s heart freezing. “No, Sei-”

Shin turned to his mother and all but snarled, “You’re hurting the man I love because of _your_ failure. _Me._ ”

Silence fell over them. A horrified fragile silence.

“How… Seijuuro-” Juuri gasped, her blanched face almost spectral. Her husband’s grip on her arm was the only thing that kept her standing.

“Seijuuro, your mother doesn’t think you’re a _failure_. She- _we_ love you,” Seisuke protested in a thick, choked voice.

“You both think I’m broken,” Shin replied, eyes dark and voice hoarse. “I’ve been your failure the minute you knew I couldn’t see your faces. The fact you could never have another child just made me more a _disappointment_.”

“No, Seijuuro, no!” Juuri objected, trying to get past Seisuke to get to Shin. But Shin backed away and held up his hands, causing her freeze in place.

“Sena has never made me feel worthless. I’ve always been his equal, and he mine. The fact he’s a man wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t already ruined your perfect image of what a Shin should be.”

“Son, we don’t-” Seisuke began. Shin interrupted, his eyes swinging to Sena’s,

“I need to go.”

Sena nodded and grabbed Shin’s hand. “Of course. You can come home with us.”

“Let’s go,” Shuuma murmured, leading his sniffling and horrorstruck wife away.

“Son, don’t go now,” Seisuke tried again.

“I’m going,” Shin stated simply. He turned on his heel and left. But Sena paused, and looked back while Shin strode away.

Juuri slowly fell into her chair, a shaking hand over her mouth. She was the picture of devastated and Sena’s heart, despite himself, went out to her.

“I know…” Sena started. Both Shins jerked their gaze to him. Neither looked as though they blamed him in the slightest, only appalled and drained, which gave him the courage to continue. “I know you don’t approve of me… ‘cause I’m a male, but… try… try to accept me? Because no one could love Seijuuro more than me, I promise,” Sena whispered. “And he… he loves _you_ , so please don’t make him choose.” He bowed, and ran after Shin and his parents.

Juuri’s soft sob in his wake had Sena biting down hard on his lip to keep from crying himself. 

* * *

 

They got to the Kobayakawa residence a long, silent car ride later. The whole time Mihae was sobbing quietly into Shuuma’s shoulder. Shuuma merely kept his hold tight around his wife, his too solemn gaze on the landscape zipping by. Shin sat ramrod straight in his seat, hands on his knees gripping too tightly. He barely even reacted to Sena reaching over to lay his hand over Shin’s. But he didn’t pull away.

Shuuma murmured a soft good night to the younger men before leading Mihae to their room. Sena and Shin slowly made their way up the stairs to Sena’s old childhood room. It looked the same as it always did, bare patches on the wall and shelves from the things he’d taken to his new apartment. Not that they cared much for the décor right then.

Sena sunk onto the bed, hands lax in his lap, and eyes unseeing in front of him. Shin stood in the middle of the room, hands in fists at his sides and body so tense it fairly vibrated. Neither spoke, emotions running too high.

Until a small, choked sound left a throat.

Sena blinked, hand rising to his neck. But it hadn’t been him.

Another sound, and another, and Sena’s eyes rose to Shin’s broad back…

…and shaking shoulders.

“Sei… oh, god, Seijuuro, hey, _hey_ ,” Sena gasped, stumbling to his feet and throwing his arms around Shin’s waist. He pressed his cheek to Shin’s back, his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth trembling. “It’s gonna be okay, Sei. I promise, it’s gonna be okay.”

Arms fell over Sena’s and held his embrace even tighter around Shin’s shuddering torso.

“I…” Shin choked on the word and nothing else got loose other than more hoarse and raspy sobs.

Sena gritted his teeth and nodded. “I know, Sei.”

They stood in the middle of the dim, unlit room. Outside, somewhere, people were lighting firecrackers, but the cracks and booms were distant and unnoticed. After Shin’s shaking subsided into a subtle, constant vibrating, Sena pulled away. He caught Shin’s hand to pull him gently back onto the bed.

Shin fell to the bed heavily, all his weight behind it. Sena sat with him, then scrambled to the wall and dragged Shin back with him. Shin blinked, nonplussed, but let Sena nudge him down to his lap. Shin pressed his damp face to Sena’s jeans, his hand reaching out to wrap around Sena’s ankle, just barely peeking out between the cuff of his pants and the top of his socks. Fingers sifted through Shin’s silky hair, over and over, lulling and gentle. Tears traced down the strong planes of his face, but he was mostly silent now.

Sena wasn’t sure which was worse, honestly. But he kept carding his fingers through Shin’s hair, the way Shin had liked after the roller coasters- when nausea had him curled up on his dorm bed as they watched rugby.

It was a long time before they fell asleep, Sena curled around Shin’s back and gripping him tightly around the waist.

Midnight passed by unnoticed for two different houses that night.

**Author's Note:**

> oh looky, I finally updated. with this shit. (I've been waiting forever to write this shit muahaha.)


End file.
